


Desires of a Damaged Heart

by TheBlackBane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Draco Malfoy - Freeform, Love/Hate, M/M, Misery, Self-Acceptance, Self-Destruction, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 19:12:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15126062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackBane/pseuds/TheBlackBane
Summary: Draco Malfoy spends the Winter after the Battle of Hogwarts inside the castle, thinking he's alone, he seeks to learn more. However, Harry Potter is in Hogwarts too, which creates tension between the past rivals.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One.

 

It was a cold winter in Hogwarts, the majority of the students left to be with their family during the holidays, leaving the luxurious castle alone with only few individuals inside. The sole few that remained were to protect, others for maintenance, rebuilding the castle after the Battle of Hogwarts, after Voldemort was defeated by the one and only Saviour, Harry Potter. It was unsettling how silent the castle appeared when all the students were gone, the feeling of solitude overwhelmed many that didn’t have a family anymore, and even a particular one that lost everything he had. It was no surprise that many validated him as a traitor, however the fact he defected Voldemort’s allegiance at the last moment saved his life, it was a choice he made, and many know, this boy rarely had a choice ever in his life.

It was snowing, the pure white coating the castle’s yards and roofs, creating a beautiful image. Only at few moments the castle ever looked so soothing, and during the winter it offered to be a home for many, allowing anyone without relatives to spend their time there regardless. It was silent when the sun peeked through the dark clouds in the sky, offering little light and confirming the morning had passed. All quarters were abandoned, those of the Gryffindors, the Raven Claws and even those of the Huffle Puffs. Though there was someone in the Slytherin quarters, one with a deeply troubled heart and mind, carrying the burden of being branded a horrible person for the rest of his life. 

The boy was in his bed, the sheets pulled over his chest, though it didn’t cover him entirely, having adjusted his pillow so he could sit more upright. The platinum blonde hair fell just above his mercury grey eyes that stared outside the window, looking upwards to the sky, watching the snowflakes pass by, feeling like hours passed as he sat silent. He shivered for a moment as the cold got to him, though he didn’t pull the sheets up more, his pale skin was an evident sign of stress, the toll he took for following his father’s demands. He breathed softly as his eyes closed, shifting into thoughts, unsettling ones. His father was sent to Azkaban, his mother was roaming somewhere else, and Draco was alone, he felt like he didn’t deserve to live after all he did, even if his actions contributed little to Voldemort’s attempt to overthrow Hogwarts. The second chance he had gotten from Harry Potter, -Saint Potter- was something he hated the most. Hatred overcame the man as he furrowed his eyebrows for a brief moment, the many times the Saviour saved his life, but he recalled he saved Potter’s life many times too, but that was because of himself, Draco was the cause, the reason why Potter ended up worse in the fight against the Dark Lord. 

A sigh inhale followed as he sank in, his form turning to his left, laying on his side, eyelids lowered slightly as he curled up in his sheets. It was a moment of sadness for him, a moment of realization to progress everything that occured, how he began as a boy and became a man. From harmless bullying to almost killing the Headmaster that protected him. What was he thinking? As if Voldemort would let him live if he failed, no, he’d be killed like all the other failures the Dark Lord saw. It’s ridiculous, thinking of this again. His pride was his everything, and it was damaged to the core, if not taken away. He was an adult now, he was expected to behave after having avoided Azkaban, he wanted to finish his last years on Hogwarts, it was all he could do. His skills in dark arts and potions were everything he could excel in. Though now, in the winter, he would have to think of how to get through these weeks. He couldn’t let himself drown in self-sympathy, inwardly he wanted to scream and cry, why he had to go through all of this. It was eating him up from inside, he wanted to restart his life.

He looked out the window for a while longer, eventually snapping his head towards his right as he heard a sound, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he took his wand from under the sheets, keeping it steady. ‘’Who’s there?’’, he asked, his tone low and rather cowardly, though he forced himself to make it more demanding as he finished the question. Clearing his throat, he pushed the sheets aside and let his feet silently hit the ground, he wore his black suit with the Slytherin green tie, though it looked ragged as he didn’t bother to adjust it. His nerves grew as he knew he was alone in the castle, though he also knew that there were remnants of the Lord chasing him, wanting him dead for betrayal, and don’t forget the fact that many of his fellow students saw him as a traitor as well, it could be anyone, or anything. He tensed as the sound of a vase being hit and shattered on the ground followed, moving closer towards the door, just before the portrait. ‘’Answer me!’’ he cried out, desperately. 

The man’s feet hit something on the ground, though he couldn’t make out who it was at first, it was only seconds later he saw a familiar mess of onyx black hair on the ground, a hand reaching about on the ground to reach for his glasses. ‘’Potter. Why the hell are you here?’’. He stood back and lowered his wand only slightly, still on his guard, watching Potter with weary eyes. Harry Potter seemed to have tripped over something on the ground and managed to push over the desk with a vase in it, falling face square down. After a long struggle, he gave up with finding his glasses, just laying there helplessly as he muttered something. ‘’Huh? Malfoy?’’. Draco furrowed his eyebrows at the display, agitation growing as he took the glasses from the ground after his eyes had located them, offering Potter the glasses without hesitation, if anything, he wanted him gone. ‘’Thanks Malfoy’’. He added as he put on his glasses, adjusting them as the vibrant green eyes became visible, innocently as per usual. Malfoy eyed the man as he cleared his throat, dumbfounded as why the other was here, out of all places.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

 

A dozen of thoughts passed Draco’s mind as he tried to come up with a logical explanation as to why Potter was here, obviously he wanted to be ahead of the other, he wanted to know the exact reason, and being the smart one, he was determined to figure it out before an answer could be given verbally by the black haired boy. Even if it was strenuous for him, and even if it put him in dismay to be with the Saviour, he wouldn’t let it get to him. He tried to compose himself, inwardly compelling himself to remain content, putting up his usual mask and not letting anyone see a weakness of himself. One could guess it was the usual trite between the two, deriding each other until they were at each other's throats like in the past, every chance offered would be another step closer to alleviate his own pain. The pain that he felt was not having had a choice, he never was able to. Everything was always decided for him, and as a well mannered son, he’d follow his father’s orders swiftly.

It didn’t take Draco long to come to a conclusion. There were few reasons Harry Potter would stay at Hogwarts. One, he would stay to help rebuilding the castle, as the boy was known to feel guilty for bringing -Who-shall-not-be-named- to Hogwarts, and leaving nearly half the building in debris and ruins. Two, Potter may want to spend time with Albus’ portrait, wishing to continue his talk to a fatherly person, perhaps even talk to Snape’s portrait, which too seemed odd, Potter and Snape had a hate-love relationship.Three, Potter decided to stay at Hogwarts to continue his study and improve his skills, like Draco decided, the few teachers that stayed were able to give them classes. Eitherway, he was adamant that either one of these reasons were valid.

Draco stood there still, in his suit as he sneered at Potter who was on the ground, taking his time to get upto his feet to finally let his eyes lock on the mercury grey ones of Draco. It was a moment of prolonged silence that passed, which made Draco highly nervous, Potter wasn’t known to stare and be silent, he’d always accuse Malfoy of something, or atleast get to the point. The Gryffindor adjusted his sweater that was made for the weather, having a dark blue color, along with a scarf that had the colors of his house, and logo, embroidered into it. It suited Potter, strangely the clothing he wore always seemed neat and tidied up, though Draco could guess Granger had involvement with the man’s choice of wardrobe. He shook his head as Potter eyed him in confusement, pushing his right foot across the floor with his sole, it seemed like Malfoy wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable about the situation. ‘’I’m here to help. Since I’ve caused this giant mess, I want to contribute to fixing it’’, Potter spoke, his tone somewhat elevated and less unfriendly than Draco thought it would be, after all, they weren’t friends.

Draco was insular, perhaps even insolent at times, but it was a defense mechanism for him, which nobody seemed to know, only judging him from his mistakes, never what he did right. The blonde male cleared his thoughts and focused back onto his rival, swallowing a lump in his throat. ‘’Yeah, and? Why are you in the Slytherin Quarters? Did your vision get worse after the battle or what?’’, he pointedly said. His expression was enough to validate that he was annoyed that a Gryffindor, no matter which one, intruded in his quarters, where he felt somewhat safe, and it being Potter pushed him right over the edge. ‘’W-..well, the map showed me you were in here, and I wanted to come by to ask why you’re here’’, Potter went on, ‘’and I received a letter from your mother. She wants you to read it’’. he stated, nodding once as he gave Draco a nosey look, curious. The Slytherin sneered deeply, moving closer to Potter as if he was about to bash the other’s face in, though abruptly stopped himself. ‘’Give me the fucking letter then, Scarhead’’. 

Harry frowned a moment before he withdrew the letter from the insides of his robe, knowing he shouldn’t let himself be insulted by someone like Draco, he handed the letter regardless, knowing it’s what an adult should do, and he owed Narcissa that much. Draco took the letter quite harshly, opening it as he unfolded the paper and read through it, his expression shifted from agitated, to blank, and from blank to distraught. The ebony eyebrows raised as worry overcame him, somewhat feeling bad for Malfoy, even if he shouldn’t. Draco on the other hand, looked even paler than before, as if life was being drained from him, he looked despondent. ‘’Malfoy, what did she write?’’. A shallow inhale was heard, the blonde male lowered the letter in his hands, keeping his wand clutched between two digits regardless, staring down at the ground.

‘’Malfoy, I know we’re not friends, but you’re not looking good. What did your mother write you?’’. Draco seemed to be oblivious to Harry’s words, though eventually folded the letter back into the envelope and put it away inside his suit. He turned around swiftly as he marched towards his bed, which was located near the window, clenching his fists. After all the sadness and weaknesses Potter has seen already, he didn’t care enough to hold back his emotions, after all, he possessed them. ‘’’Potter, leave before I curse you’’. he spat out, like venom. The man sank to his knees, onto the ground before his bed, letting his elbow settle on top of his bed as his hands covered his face. Harry didn’t exactly know what to make out of it, but he knew whatever Narcissa wrote to Draco, it had given him a breakdown. A big one by that.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

Harry found himself clueless, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater as he brushed his fingers across the woolen patch, confounded as he watched Malfoy break down before himself. He always saw Malfoy as a little spoiled brat who hated the Saviour, though he never knew why. It could’ve been a thousand reasons as to why the blonde hated him, wondering what he ever did to Malfoy. Since the first year, when Harry rejected Malfoy’s hand, it caused great umbrage to the wealthy boy, whom afterwards only was adamant on ruining Potter’s life. He hated the Weasleys, he hated Granger for being a mudblood and he hated, as Malfoy would call Harry, ‘’Scarhead’ or ‘’Saint Potter’’, for unknown reasons. Harry stood there silently for a long moment as the blonde broke down, eying him with a somewhat sympathizing gaze, he felt sorry for the other, regardless of what Narcissa wrote to her son.

Harry knew how important family was, even if he didn’t have his parents anymore, he valued Snape - oh, what a surprise -, and he even more valued his relationship with Dumbledore and Sirius Black. He could only imagine how difficult it was for Malfoy to know his father was in Azkaban - the father he listened to all his life, and the father that also ruined his life -. Lucius dragged Draco along with his hunger for power and greed, his own selfish gains corrupting him and his family suffered from it, paying the price for his deeds. Harry wanted to leave and hope Draco would recover, as he usually did, he didn’t let himself be vulnerable for too long, especially not in front of the golden boy, but Draco seemed timid, despondent and all but headstrong. It was a hard choice for Harry and the consequences that flushed inside his mind weren’t exactly ones that he wanted to experience, he knew Malfoy excelled in spells and curses, and not that he feared the blonde, he simply didn’t want to be cursed for showing concern.

Draco seemed to sob as he had his welled eyes covered by his hands, slick blonde hair swooping down his eyes as he let his digits run through his hair, messing it up, unkept and dishevelled. Pristine pale skin soaked by rivers of tears streaming down his cheeks, portraying him as one who endured heavy loss. He didn’t say anything anymore, not even despite the fact that Potter remained after Draco demanded him gone, though it doesn’t necessarily mean he allows Potter to stay. ‘’Malfoy, let me help you. You..- You don’t have to deal with this alone. We’re mature enough now and I think after all we have been through, we should leave past grudges behind us’’. Malfoy abruptly halted his sobbing, his head turning to gaze over his shoulder, the man’s expression validated upset. Exasperated, he took his wand from his bed and pointed it at Potter. ‘’Get out, you fucking Saint! I don’t want you having sympathy with me!’’ Malfoy spat out, his words filled with hatred, perhaps even jealousy. Draco seemed to lack energy as he struggled to get himself up from his kneeled position, stumbling before he regained his balance.

Potter cleared his throat, feeling it being constricted as he was lost for words, he didn’t know wether to react angry or hurt, but either would likely cause a bad reaction. To be safe, Potter withdrew his wand, though undisclosed for the blonde. ‘’Malfoy..’’ he drew out in a saddened tone, moving closer to Malfoy with cautious steps as the black messy strands of Potter sat atop his head like it’s never been combed before. Potter reached his left hand out towards Malfoy, palm outwards as if gesturing the other to calm down. ‘’Look, just let me help you. Just tell me what Narcissa said’’. Malfoy narrowed his eyes as they shifted downwards to the ground, hesitant before he shook his head. ‘’Confringo!’’ , fire began to emerge from his wand as it surged towards Potter, blazing and amassing in its field of range and strength, lighting up the room with sparkles of ember. Potter’s eyes widened, gritting his teeth as he at the last moment managed to deflect the spell, though not entirely, some sparks managed to catch fire on his sweater, dropping his wand and pulling the sweater off of himself and throwing it aside. ‘’Merlin, Malfoy! Can’t you just let someone help you for once!’’ 

Draco’s eyes turned orange, reflecting the big burst of flames that was before his eyes, his eyes still welled but drying. He moved back in place, falling down on the ground as he crawled back, wand clutched tightly in his right hand as he instantly felt regret conquering his mind. Draco was in sheer and utter panic, lips parted before they closed again, backed up against his bed. He feared Potter would attack him, like he attacked him before, nearly killing him if it wasn’t for Snape. ‘’Potter..I told you to leave’’, he said, his tone cowardly, though trying to sound intimidating was an evident struggle at this point. Potter didn’t seem impressed, nor was he going to attack back, he simply stood there, the pink flesh of his chest exposed after he removed his sweater, seeing clear muscle mass which didn’t look all too bad on him. ‘’Malfoy, I’m not leaving. Now you better tell me or I’ll force you’’. Potter furrowed his eyebrows, he himself was getting his limits pushed as he stared at the blonde, inhaling deeply through his nose. Draco however swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling his heart ripping through his chest with its beating in a gallope. ‘’..Fucking Saint.- ..he died, okay..he..he died’’.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

 

Harry tensed up as he progressed the words, incredulous of what Malfoy actually said, hoping he misunderstood. ‘’What did you say, Malfoy?’’, he asked again, for clarity, clearing his throat as he watched the blonde skulk down. Malfoy lowered his head, frowning deeply as his right hand pressed against his features in frustration. ‘’He died..in Azkaban’’. Potter didn’t quite believe it, Malfoy was an amazing liar, though this seemed to be truthful. Narcissa wouldn’t lie to her son. Harry raked a hand through his black mess, making it even more of a wilderness. Lucius died. Harry knew it was he who Malfoy was talking about, no other person would trigger such a reaction from him. Draco Malfoy was mortified and devastated, he was at his lowest once again. ‘’I’m sorry, Malfoy..I’m sure your father is better off now..’’. Truth is, Harry didn’t know if Lucius actually was better off now, he just wanted to comfort Malfoy somehow, despite Potter being horrible in expressing himself, leave alone trying to cheer up his past rival. He seemed uncertain on what to do, he eventually decided to pick up his sweater and clutch it to his chest which ran cold. ‘’How about we go to the potion class? Slughorn is still there. I’m sure he won’t mind’’. he added, poising a smile on his lips.

It seemed the boy who lived was set on changing the subject, and with it, cheering Malfoy up. It was strange to do, and it didn’t feel comfortable either. His heart told him that helping Malfoy was the right thing to do, as he’s just a human being with feelings too, but his mind told him he shouldn’t. Dissuading. Malfoy was a supposedly ignorant bastard who didn’t care for anyone except himself. Potter knew better, he somewhat knew that Malfoy wasn’t a bad person, he merely was given no choice. Potter awkwardly stood there waiting for an answer, which felt like eternity, looking around if there was caused damage to the other beds and shelves from Malfoy’s spell, which luckily didn’t destroy anything else. He wouldn’t even want to consider what Headmistress McGonagall would do to the both of them if they fought inside the castle. 

Draco eventually let out shaky sigh, moving his hands to the ground and pushing himself up. He straightened his hair and adjusted his suit, putting his wand away safely inside of it. The scent of burnt clothing filled his nostrils as he only bit his lower lip, shaking it off. ‘’Get changed, Potter. I’ll head to Potions Class and meet you there’’. his voice was monotone, unchanging in its pitch, he was suffering from lassitude and didn’t want to cause any further issues as of right now. His hands formed into fists as his side signalled struggle of the new he had to bite through, it was tearing him apart inside, inwardly he was screaming. The mercury grey eyes of the man were dull and lacked the usual determination, casted downwards still. He made no attempt to make eye contact with Potter, nor did he want to. 

Potter seemed reassured, pondering but left regardless, turning on his heels and returning to the Gryffindor quarters to get changed. He mumbled something about Hermione beheading him for the destroyed sweater she made for him, tucking himself into a new sweater which was a darker brown, still as warm as the other, but practical. Should I talk to the Headmistress about Lucius? Potter was lost in thoughts, which made him slow as he changed clothing, forgetting Malfoy was waiting- no, like he would be waiting for him, too funny. He adjusted his sweater and stood up, closing his trunk and head out, facing the changing staircases once again, but managed to get to Potions Class. To his own surprise, Malfoy wasn’t there yet, which means he might not come at all, or he is merely late. Eitherway, Potter found someone gazing at him with a bright smile. It was Slughorn, whom seemed all too happy seeing the boy. ‘’Harry Potter! Come inside! Oh, you can’t believe what I just heard!’’.

Harry narrowed his vibrant green eyes at Slughorn, head tilting as he walked closer and sat down on a chair before the teacher. ‘’Draco Malfoy went into the Forbidden Forest!’’. A gasp was heard, followed by a quick standing up from Harry. ‘’..What? No. He was supposed to come to Potion Class! Why would he go there?’’. Slughorn seemed to think as he walked forth and back, having his hands tugged inside the pockets of his coat, which didn’t hide his big fat belly. ‘’He actually just passed by and asked if he could get some ingredients from the Forest since I’m low on stock, and since Snape can’t do it anymore…’’ Harry frowned a moment at Snape’s name being mentioned, but the main worry he had was why Malfoy would put himself in danger by going to the Forest, especially during this cold weather which was even more prone to be a danger. Harry shook his head furiously, hands waving about like a madman. ‘’But it’s dangerous there! There..there could be werewolves now!’’ Slughorn grimaced a moment, yet the old man didn’t seem to care much. ‘’He’s an adult, Mr.Potter and I’m more than sure with his experience he can manage himself’’. Slughorn was very clear in his words, expecting nothing further from Potter to be said, but as the golden boy moved to walk away hastily, he spoke again: ‘’You can go help him. If you find the ingredients I need, you can make any potion you want, given it’s ofcourse, legal’’. Potter offered a vague smile as he sprinted out of the classroom and out of Hogwarts.

A chill overcame him as he saw the Forest again, unsettling him. ‘’Ugh...Malfoy, why are you so stupid at times..’’, he muttered in his warm fur boots, dragging his feet through the thick layers of snow. His arms were hugging himself as his hands brushed against his shoulders, the gloves keeping his fingers warm as he looked around, hoping to find some kind of clue as to where Malfoy went. He looked down to the snow, eyes narrowing in hope to see footprints, but there were none. Malfoy must have erased them. A deep sigh left his lips, quivering as he progressed, passing trees as he marched further into the center of the Forest. ‘’Malfoy, are you here?!’. He didn’t hear anything except for a howl in the distance, which instantly made him consider that screaming wasn’t the best choice. Damnit, Malfoy. He was freezing and he had no idea what Malfoy was searching for, Slughorn wasn’t very eloquent in which ingredients he wanted either. Harry decided to walk towards a tree and sit himself down against it, curling up as he looked around aimlessly. Gashes of wind blew in his eyes, snow coating his figure as he was seated, finding it hard to keep his glasses clean. Great. Malfoy might already been killed by the werewolves, and I’m freezing to death looking for that idiot’’.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Atleast an hour passed by as Potter sat down near the roots of the tree, enveloped in snow as he kept himself warm by blowing his breath inside his gloves. Flakes of snow fell from the sky and coated the dark trees that otherwise settled for a creepy vibe, making them appear less malign, and more pure. Harry wasn't very pleased, there was some mud that stained his sweater and made it grime, he didn't consider putting on a coat as he was in a hurry to chase Malfoy with his idiotic thoughts. Sometimes he even wondered why he would go to the extent of getting his hands filthy for someone that wanted him gone, or atleast miserable for the rest of his life. The Forest was enchanting no matter which season it was, making nearly every student riveted by the magical apparitions, and some horribly scared, especially in detention.

Detention. Potter's lips broadened into an amused smile as he remembered his time in the Forest with Malfoy when they were kids, that panicked face of the blonde boy, whom supposedly was scared of nothing and nobody. Regardless, he had good memories with Malfoy, how weird it might sound, but they good memories didn't win from the bad ones. And now, after all that has happened, he's sticking his neck out for the blonde once again. Did Malfoy want to die? As if he would take his own life. He is a Malfoy. Ridiculous. He couldn't blame Malfoy if his will to live was slowing ebbing away, but Potter was always positive, he would -and- want to save anyone, even him. It was time to step up and start looking again, even if the howls of the werewolves in the distance were a warning to him he should return to the safety of the castle.

Harry lifted himself up and shook himself to get the layers of snow off, shivering in his boots, he should've put on a coat and a hat. He moved on further, which seemed to be endless steps of passing the same trees. Only the howls turning more clearer to his ears, and his eyes perceived a figure in the distance. His eyes could be fooling him, but he saw something. Hope began to surface again as he smiled happily and rushed forth to the hill he saw the figure on. ''Malfoy. Have you any idea how long I have been searching for you?'', he muttered in an annoyed tone, though his smile remained to prove the opposite.A long black coat was seen, tightly strapped and reaching the knees, above rested a pristine pale complexion, immaculate and flawless, with blonde strands of platinum, topped with few snowflakes. Potter waited. Nothing was returned and it unnerved Harry, clenching his fists as he then began fiddling with his sweater. ''..Malfoy?'', he muttered again.

He proceeded closer as he eyed the man, mercury grey eyes were widened and frozen in place, located upon something in the distance, he didn't move an inch. Harry swallowed as he looked over to where Malfoy was looking, it was dark, and the most peculiar thing to notice were a pair of beastial blue eyes. It didn't take Harry long to progress it was either a wolf or a werewolf, but he didn't plan to stay and find out which one it was. He reached out to Malfoy and yanked the man along with him as the other was frozen in place, dragging him along in a hurry. ''Malfoy, stay quiet and follow me''. Harry moved the both of them behind a tree as he breathed out, the blonde offering no objection, taking out his wand and keeping it in his hand, letting his green eyes linger on the other whom was still not responding.

Malfoy was in panic. Utter and sheer panic. He was pale, and not the usual pale he always was, but pale in fear. Many know Malfoy was determined in what he did, but he also had his moments where he backed out, using only words to get a point across, and when actions where required, he was nothing but a coward. ''Okay, Malfoy. You have..- I see you have a...plant- now just be quiet untill it's gone''. Malfoy managed a vague nod, the Wolfbane in his bag well secured as he took a sharp inhale to calm still was confounded and even more so surprised that someone like Malfoy could be considered a coward. He attacked Harry several times without caring, and now Malfoy was afraid of a werewolf. Ofcourse, werewolves are -very- dangerous, but still.. Still. Minutes passed as Harry sighed out. ''Okay, I think it's gone..let's head back''.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It was quiet, which wasn’t always a good sign. Draco felt himself tensing up again as Potter dragged him along behind the tree, his feet wanted to move, but he simply couldn’t, he was incapacitated. If it wasn’t for Potter, Draco was more than sure that the werewolf would have swallowed him whole for dinner. He breathed in sharply as fear overwhelmed him, dulling his senses and most of all, logical thinking, which was just what he needed in a dire moment like this. He was inwardly fighting his demons, the fears he felt and the angst that made him break down. He followed Potter’s orders, despite the fact he usually never willingly would, he just wanted to get through this. For a reason or another, he felt himself get dizzy, his visual blurring as spots of black clouded his vision, feeling his body sulking down.

He shook his head, his hand clamped tightly around his wand, but he almost was sitting on the snowy cold ground if it wasn’t for the Saint holding him up with a mere hand tugging the side of his coat. Malfoy’s knees were quivering and he felt a shiver run down his spine, completely and utterly mortified. The thing he saw, the creature, he knew who it was, but he felt no urge to tell Potter, considering Potter probably could remember who it was as well. Alright, Draco, pull yourself together, you can do this. Don’t show Potter you’re a coward. He nodded to reassure himself, lifting himself up as he wanted to move from his spot, despite Potter’s hand still holding onto his coat, but as soon as Draco moved, the hand slipped because Draco tugged himself loose from the limb. Draco wanted to show he could get out of a situation like this, but yet another howl was heard, he only took several steps forth in the snow, but it was clear enough for the creature to have seen him.

Potter wanted to interfere and pull Malfoy back again for being an idiot, but it was too late. Draco couldn’t comprehend that he felt something behind him, and that something wasn’t the golden boy. The golden boy stood out of range, backed against the tree and readying his wand to attack the creature, which now was running through the snow like it was nothing, coming closer with each passing second, roaring about like a savage. The moment Draco turned, he felt a claw clamped around his throat, bashed back against a tree as he was lifted up against it, staring straight in the pair of beastial blue eyes. His face was draining from its color, whatever pale color was left. ‘’Malfoy...didn’t think you would be alive after all you have done..and..hrm..to be here like dinner for me..mrm..you want to be eaten? Ofcourse, why else would you come here willingly…’’ the werewolf spoke, Draco’s hands were around the claw around his throat, trying to get free, but it was no use, the werewolf was too strong for him, and his wand had fallen to the ground. ‘’L-l..let me go, Greyback..’’ he uttered with the little energy he had left. Greyback grinned like a maniac, eying his meal, letting his other hand join as he traced it downwards Malfoy’s chest, one singular finger ripping open his coat and disclosing his pale white skin. ‘’Oh, no..I want to play with my food before I take a bite..I’m sure you taste really -good-’’. 

Greyback laughed as he seemed focused on Draco Malfoy, oblivious to everything around him, seemingly his hunger hasn’t been sated in a long while. He saw the fear in Draco’s eyes, the feeling most his victims had when they knew they wouldn’t live another day. It amused Fenrir greatly. Draco closed his eyes tightly, the mercury grey color even more white as he felt the claw on his throat tightening. His life flashed before his eyes, like many times before when he was on the verge of dying. Too many times was he too close to death, but this time it felt like he was meant to die. Maybe it was justice for the people he had hurt, the families that were torn apart thanks to his actions, maybe it was fate throwing itself onto him. ‘’You’re becoming dull, Malfoy..I thought you were one that would fight back..’’ Fenrir muttered in disappointment, his claw loosening its grip slightly on Draco’s throat, letting a digit of his left hand trace down the pale white skin of the blonde, to the point of cutting it, letting warm blood stream downwards as he grinned. Draco winced as he felt the cut, shaking himself in hope to get the werewolf away from himself.

Father..I am so sorry to have disappointed you.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven.

Harry was in shock himself as he observed the werewolf sprinting towards Malfoy with immense speed, his green eyes widened as he swallowed a lump in his throat, trying to remain silent as he neary stumbled back. The boy was highly hesitant on how to handle this situation, he felt like he should wait for the right moment to strike, but every inch of his body was telling him to flee back to Hogwarts and call the Professors for help. He would hardly be a match for Greyback, physically, he would be thrown aside like nothing, before he’d able to cast, he might have had his eyes scratched out already. It was imperative he made a decision however, no matter which one, he had to make a quick call if he wanted to save Malfoy. He took a deep inhale through his nose as he pointed his wand at Fenrir Greyback and mouthed a clear ‘’stupefy!’’. A jet of red light bursts from his wand right onto the werewolf, hitting the man without knowing that Potter even was there. 

A loud thud was heard as the powerful werewolf hit the ground and with impact, forced the thick layer of snow aside. Fenrir Greyback was hit unconscious and lay ironically and peacefully on the ground, in deep slumber, with low growls emitting from his mouth. Harry Potter seemed surprised by the fact his spell worked on such a large creature, he was even more surprised that Malfoy in the progress was released and remained unharmed, except from the near suffocation and the singular cut on his chest. The blonde dropped to the ground aswell as he groaned lowly, rubbing his forehead, whereafter he traced several digits across his reddened throat. Draco lay somewhat lifeless on the ground, his eyes dulled as they were closed. Potter felt concern one again rising inside of him, and this time it was probably righteous to worry. He rushed past the werewolf and towards Malfoy, placing his right hand on the man’s shoulder and shaking the blonde in panic. ‘’Malfoy, are you okay? Are you hurt?’’, Potter blurted out, looking over the man with sweat forming on his forehead, the cold weather didn’t seem to bother him at all, nor leave alone the sweater barely warmed him.

It was one of the most horrible sights Harry saw, seeing Malfoy sulked down again the tree, with only a beating heart to validate he still was alive. Potter had a chance to observe the flawless pale white skin, feeling an urge to trace a finger over it, to feel the soft skin that never was seen by anyone, but it was just skin. His skin. The ebony haired man cleared his throat as he watched over the man, seeing no severe injuries as he let out a deep breath of relief. ‘’You’re going to be okay, Malfoy. Let’s get back to Slughorn and see if Madame Pomfrey is in the hospital wing..’’ Malfoy didn’t really respond, he seemed to speak, but his words couldn’t be properly articulated. The blonde was recovering from being on the verge of death, and soon he felt the cut on his chest take its effect, even if it was no bite, it hurt him, and in closer perusal, the cut was alot deeper than it initially appeared to be. The golden boy looked around and then next to him, to see Fenrir still being unconscious, with that confirmed, he moved his gaze back to Malfoy, using his hands to pull the coat of the blonde together and make sure he remained warm. ‘’Alright, lean on me Malfoy, we’ll head back to Hogwarts’’, Harry spoke with determination, adamant on returning to Hogwarts, he slid an arm under Malfoy and made sure the man could lean on him, using his wand to cast the compass spell, directing them right back to the castle, with only a half hour passing, they were back in the castle grounds.

Malfoy remained silent throughout the way, only muttering things, but nothing clearly. He leaned on Harry in his weakened state, yet again depending on the boy who lived, and having his life saved once again, but perhaps the good thing was, he got his Wolfsbane, which he wanted, which is why he went to the Forest. He had endless thoughts in his head, thoughts he didn’t even want. The most common one being that he disappointed his father, the only thing he ever wanted was to make his role model proud, but at what stake? Really, Draco didn’t mind if he had died by Fenrir. It would have been some kind of redemption, his death. But why would Harry save him? Would he have known that Draco was incompetent of saving his own hide? Probably. Harry knew. It should be clear by now. Draco leaned onto the ebony haired male as the cut on his chest remained to gape and stretch with each step taken, the bleeding ceasing and flowing perpetually with the cold weather. He seemed to blank out for a moment, yet the moment turned into blackness as he passed out, yet he remember the familiar feeling of solid pavement beneath his feet. He somewhat felt happy he was safe, back in Hogwarts, back with the horrible memories he had here. It was hours later when he woke up on a bed, sheets covering him and keeping him warm. He felt that the wound on his chest was mended, likely by Madame Pomfrey. 

Despite the overwhelming lassitude, he was feeling alot better than before. His mercury grey eyes lingered around, upwards towards the ceiling as he breathed in, calmly and soothingly. The blonde locks were wild and messy, but somehow he always looked perfect, no matter how he appeared. Eventually he placed his hands down and lifted himself up to a seated position, getting a better overview of the hospital wing. Draco rubbed his forehead with a hand as he felt a headache, a heavy one, bursting through his brains, probably a side-effect of the potions he was made to consume. He eventually swept his feet off the bed and stepped down onto the floor, eager to ask Madame Pomfrey what has occured, as he only remembered little flashes.

Draco moved towards the door of Madame Pomfrey’s office and knocked, though he sank through a knee and stumbled against the door, which eventually opened. The woman eyed Draco with narrowed eyes and a unsatisfied expression that the man had gotten up, against the fact he should rest instead. She muttered something, likely cursing about Malfoy’s stupidity before she helped him up and moved him back to his bed. Though, Draco catched a glimpse of someone else in her office, they were likely conversing about something. Or him. Or what happened..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

He was all alone, surrounded by darkness, he felt that his hands were chained to the ground along with his ankles, the pavement frigid as an eerie feeling overcame Draco. He looked around with pearly white eyes, but he couldn't make out where he was, only faint shimmer of light peeked through a small window above him, far away from his reach. His breathing began to become unregular, unsteady and his heart beated like mad, it was yet again panic taking its control over Malfoy. Where am I..It is what he asked himself, he had no idea how he got here, though it seemed familiar. He couldn't help but now notice he had a dozen cuts on his body, his pale white skin littered with them, blood stains on the cold stone and smeared across his body. The man widened his eyes as he was on his knees, trying to move but the chains kept him in place, he wanted to free himself, but nobody or nothing would help him now. All of his mistakes surfaced, which made his eye well up, tears streaming down his cheeks as he shook his head wildly. Azkaban..this is Azkaban. But..father? Is he alive? He hunched and his head touched the ground as he sobbed, crying out before he pushed his tears back and composed himself, only slightly. ''Father? Father, are you here?'' he spoke, his voice low and shaky. A voice ahead of him was heard, it was unclear, but it was close to that of Lucius. ''Draco, my son. You have failed me. You let me die, you chose yourself over me, the person that raised you. That taught you everything you know. And this is my thanks? You should be -dead-. Azkaban is a light punishment for you''. Draco's eyes widened as he heard the most horrible thing he had ever heard, his lips parted and his jaw dropped, breathing shallowly, feeling his heartbeat gradually getting slower.''I know..father. I know, forgive me, please..I beg you, I never wanted to disappoint you. All I ever wanted was to make you proud!'', his voice echoed through the brick walls, lunging forth as he pulled the chains on wrists. ''No, Draco. You are a failure, and you always will be''. The voice faded as silence passed, though the crying of Draco went on, everything he had was gone, he thought he deserved this.

''Malfoy''. Draco's eyes squeezed together tightly, confused as the voice wasn't his father's. ''Malfoy'', it rang again, this time louder, but Draco shook his head as he kept his eyes closed, sweat surfacing his body. ''Malfoy, wake up!''. Malfoy's eyes peeled open in shock as he instantly sat up, breathing heavily and panting, his eyes widened from pure fear, looking down as he then averted his gaze to Harry Potter, whom was sitting on a chair, close to his bed with widened eyes aswell, worrisome eyes. ''You're awake..- did you have a nightmare?''. Draco was shifting to utter and sheer denial, considering the Golden boy observed him having a nightmare, and had to shout to wake him up, he was more than sure Potter wouldn't buy anything else, even if Draco said it were side-effects from a potion he consumed from Madame Pomfrey. Draco remained silent, reluctant to answer as he breathed out, drawing in air as he cleared his thought with strenuous effort. ''Malfoy, I have them too, you're not the only one'', Potter spoke again. Saint Potter, always trying to make others feel better by saying something like that, but strangely it helped. Draco did feel better, if only just slightly, but his pride was still there, he wouldn't consider opening up to Potter again. He already said too much about Lucius.

Harry shifted in his seat, he looked tired aswell, his glasses atop his nose and the messy black strands just above his light green eyes, yet he had a reassuring smile resting upon his lips as Malfoy looked towards him. Harry leaned in slightly, gesturing to his right, towards the small desk aside Malfoy's bed. ''Madame Pomfrey wanted me to get you something to eat and drink. So, eat and drink'', he added, smiling somewhat awkwardly, Harry was a total goon in formulating sentences, but that always created the most funny of situations, even Malfoy seemed to look somewhat amused. Harry took the liberty of taking the tray and placing it atop Malfoy's lap, then moving back into his seat, fidgeting with the sleeves of his sweater. Harry had a small scratch on his cheek, but it was nothing serious, though Draco wondered how it got there. He didn't recall that Potter got hurt, nor did he recall anything else after he collapsed. The only thing Draco did offer was a vague nod in appreciation as he took the piece of bread on his plate, taking a bite from it. His appetite wasn't the best, but he knew that if he didn't eat, Madame Pomfrey would make him, and that was definitely something he didn't want to endure.

Draco admitted to himself he didn't feel comfortable, not in Hogwarts, nowhere. He would always be in danger, and despite trying to keep a blank expression, he was easily sold out by the black haired male. ''Malfoy. Madame Pomfrey mended your wounds and you consumed some potions. You have been out for two days, which worried her- uh, us. Everyone'', Harry laughed as he rubbed the side of his neck, turning his gaze away. Draco merely continued to eat his bread, taking a sip from his water now and then, he found it funny, but he always had shown his amusement of Potter's stupid sentences. Draco eventually finished his meal as he let his hands take hold of the tray and place it on the desk where it belonged, with notable effort as he almost fell out of his bed. ''Do you remember anything, Malfoy?'', Harry asked again, he seemed eager to know this. Malfoy was more than sure nobody obliviated him as he recalled bits of what happened. Besides, Malfoy seemed pretty thankful that Potter didn't continue his interrogation of his nightmare, that was not something he would ever tell the scarhead. Malfoy sat up, leaning back as his mercury grey eyes locked on the ceiling, several digits rubbing across the sheets. ''Vague bits. Someone attacked us..- Fenrir''. Harry nodded in validation. ''Yes, he did. Your state isn't as bad as it seems then, if you remember that. We were afraid you had memory loss or something. Madame Pomfrey would've otherwise gave you more potions'', he grinned, Potter was amused, mixing too many potions could sometimes be very dangerous, or very funny.

Draco didn't look towards Potter anymore, he had a different concern now. His wand. Draco began to brood as his eyes lingered around, likely looking for it, his wand was most precious to him, something that saved his life many times. The only thing that understood him. ''Here'', Potter stated, withdrawing Malfoy's wand from his person and offered it to the blonde, nodding. ''You dropped it in the Forest, but I took it with me''. Dear Merlin, Draco thought his wand would've been lost forever, well not forever, he could've used the spell to trace it back, or let it come to him, but that's intricate, and he didn't consider to go back to the Forest again. ''Where's my Wolfbane? Did I keep it?'', his eyes narrowed inquiringly towards Potter, for long since a while, Draco seemed himself again, in his expression atleast. The same expression he used towards people he disliked, and Harry recognized it. Instead of getting annoyed by it, the ebony haired man smiled instead. ''I gave it to Professor Slughorn and he was very pleased with it''. Draco appeared abit annoyed that Harry gave it, he wanted to give it himself. ''You best didn't take credit for it, Potter'', he spouted, almost barking. ''Tsk, Malfoy, as if. I got enough credit for saving your life'', Harry smiled, his ego was about to burst and Malfoy's eyebrows furrowed. ''Screw you, Scarhead'', he mumbled, taking his wand and eying it. ''When can I leave?'', Malfoy inquired. 

A door was smacked open and Madame Pomfrey marched in, wandering from her office to and as the both fixed their attention on the woman. '' Mr.Malfoy'', she spoke, her eyebrows lifted as she eyed Malfoy, evidently trying to make him feel guilty, as to where Malfoy merely sneered in return. ''You can leave in a few hours, but may I remind you, that if you feel bad or collapse, you have to come to me. Otherwise, Mr.Potter will have to''. She looked to Potter, morely so making a demand as she didn't give Harry a choice in the matter, afterall, safety was more important. Draco didn't falter from his glare, but Potter merely smiled and nodded like an innocent. ''Ofcourse, Madame Pomfrey, we will do that''. Draco snapped his glare to Potter, whom ignored Malfoy, intentionally. ''Very well. I will return your suit to you. Your coat also has been returned to your trunk''. Draco sighed deeply as he turned on his side, away from the other two, pulling the sheets over himself. Fucking Potter. Always to the rescue. I hate him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Harry smiled abit as he looked over his shoulder towards Draco, though most of his smiles were forced. Madame Pomfrey stood before him, an eyebrow lifted as she nodded several times. ‘’You don’t have to be near him, but he has to be careful. He has extreme lassitude’’, she nodded promptly. Harry seemed abit hesitant, but he wasn’t one to go against the judgement of the smartest woman in Hogwarts, considering the medical field. ‘’Alright, Madame Pomfrey. Malfoy will manage on his own, I hope’’. Harry didn’t seem too sure as Malfoy had the habit to get himself in trouble even if he didn’t want to. It always happened to Malfoy, and alike his name, he was doomed to have a bad faith. It was a perpetual struggle Malfoy had to go through, to try to stay clear from problems, but no matter what he did, every step forward to him, were simultaneously two steps backwards. Harry decided to leave the blonde alone as he didn’t seem garrulous, and likely needed his rest, which was more than understandable. Harry gathered his bag and moved the strap over his shoulder, securing it on his being and adjusting his glasses which had dampened from the cold. He said his goodbyes to Madame Pomfrey and also added his thanks for her quick attention, to which she nodded with a vague smile tracing her lips. 

Harry moved as he walked past Malfoy’s bed, seemingly in a hurry considering he nearly tripped. He felt a gaze on him, and he was not wrong. Malfoy’s mercury grey eyes were located on Potter, amused, despite being agitated, he found humor in even the most stupid of things, primarily Potter. Harry looked over his shoulder towards Malfoy, whom lifted his eyebrows and sneered back in retort. The black haired man mumbled something. ‘’Pathetic’’, as he walked on, shaking his head. ‘’Oh, Potter, don’t be a Hufflepuff’’, Draco added as he grinned, watching Potter walk out the door. He sighed softly after the man left, turning on his back as he eyed the ceiling, placing his wand aside on the desk as he took a sharp inhale through his nose, he was eager to leave. Draco felt like he wasted enough time by resting, and frankly, he didn’t care much for himself, he just wanted to continue with improving his skills. Somehow that nightmare felt real, something that could really have happened to him if Potter didn’t save him. The guilt was consuming him, the fact he owed someone so much, the debt which he would never be able to repay, no matter what he did, and the question was if he even wanted to. He hated the golden boy. He despised the entire entity of Potter, and he couldn’t even think of trying to please him.

Draco was done. Lying here would only make him think more and more, he didn’t want to relive the past, and he certainly didn’t want to go through every single memory he had of it. He pushed the sheets aside and stood up, feeling light in the head, but was adamant on continuing, collecting his bag as he wandered back to Potions Class, where he should’ve been two days ago. He was troubled, and he had issues with the slightest of stairs, feeling his body working against him, which never truly benefited him. He eventually got to Potions Class, where Professor Slughorn was, seated at his desk, reading through some papers. Malfoy cleared his throat as he walked towards the man. ‘’Professor Slughorn. I heard Pott-..Mr.Potter brought the Wolfsbane?’’, he questioned, his eyes narrowed inquiringly. Professor Slughorn raised his gaze to Draco Malfoy and nodded sternly. ‘’Yes, Mr.Potter indeed that. I’m thankful you have provided me with it. Now, as I told you before, and as I told Mr.Potter, you both can create any potion you want, which is legal, ofcourse’’. Draco tilted his head, eyes shifting to the side. ‘’Alright. I’ll make the potion now then’’. Professor Slughorn nodded, gesturing towards the supplies. ‘’Go ahead. Mr.Potter made his potion a day ago’’. Draco swallowed as he instantly began to wonder what potion Potter had made, though showing too much interest would create an awkward conversation. 

Draco collected the cauldron and the other supplies needed to make a potion, especially his Wolfsbane which he proudly smiled at. Draco collected all the required ingredients, six Snakefangs, a mix of herbs and six dried Billywing Stings. He knew how to make the potion, though took the list on how to make it with him to make sure, Draco wanted it to be perfect. He heated the copper cauldron for thirty seconds, where after he crushed the ingredients, the Snakefangs were crushed, along with the herbs, where as the Billywing Stings were already deposited into the cauldron. He stirred three times clockwise, and waved his wand, smiling as he truly seemed to enjoy the brewing, one of the classes he excelled in, and one moment he didn’t have to think of the world around him. ‘’Alright. Eight hours to brew. I’ll be back then, Professor’’. Professor Slughorn looked up curiously for a moment to the brew, though said nothing further about it. ‘’I’ll leave the classroom open for you. I trust you won’t damage the trust’’. Draco’s eyes widened for a moment, likely the trust part was a reference of him being a traitor, it caught him off-guard. He quickly retaliated and offered a meek smile. ‘’No, I won’t, Professor Slughorn’’. The blonde gathered his things again and walked out, moving all the way down as he made his way outside into the snow, inside the courtyard, looking upto the sky. He felt many memories once again, not even one place in Hogwarts was not a reminder of the Battle, nor everything else. Snowflakes fell atop his blonde hair, yet he didn’t mind. The snow, it was cold, as cold as his heart, as many claim?

Harry Potter was in his quarters, sitting at a desk where he was writing, probably writing to Hermione and Ron. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he wrote them of Malfoy’s stupid actions and the fact he was a nuisance. But Harry didn’t mention Malfoy’s name at all, he was writing to Hermione and Ron about how glad he was they were a couple and how he was looking forward to Christmas and was thinking to go to Hogsmeade, although on his own would be a little bit dull. Regardless, he did mention he made a potion, yet didn’t specify which one, and mentioned mostly good things, as he knew Hermione would worry and want to return to Hogwarts to make sure everything was okay. And that was what Harry didn’t want, even if they were his best friends, if they saw Malfoy again so soon after the war, who knows what could happen. He smiled somewhat, the spells Hermione would cast on Malfoy, it’d be too funny, though maybe Hermione really wanted to hurt him, like he hurt her. Harry shook his head and dipped his quill again in the jar of ink, finishing the last words as he closed the letter and placed it in an envelope, sealing it with a mark of wax. He went to the owls and secured the envelope, letting the owl fly off.

Draco on the other hand was still in the courtyard, having sunken down to his knees, the black fabric adorned by the layer of snow which began to melt, making his suit wet. Draco always loved Christmas, and he never had anything against it, except for the fact when Potter threw snowballs at them when he had the invisibility cloak on. But that was frankly harmless, it was a good time, the bullier got bullied, right? Right. He wiped few flakes from his features and stood up again, the water on his cheeks awfully looking alot like tears, though nobody knew which one it was, it might just aswell be melted snow. Potter. If I only could tell Potter to stay away from me..- he always has to be around me, no matter where I go. A sigh left his lips, moving himself up again, walking towards the Great Hall as his appetite was there again, he felt ravenous, he really felt starved after so much stressing around. It didn’t take long before Draco arrived at the doors of the Great Hall, passing few students who presumably had lost their families because of him, since they all frowned or scowled at him in utter disgust. He even heard something along the lines of ‘’Traitor’’ and ‘’Pathetic mongrel’’. It hurt him, but he didn’t show it, he walked on, he didn’t care - he tried not to-, as he cared alot about the opinions of others. He pushed the doors open and looked around, the festivity was there, enormous christmas trees were decorated and a feast was set on all tables of each house. 

‘’Eggnog’’, he said quietly.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten.

It was Christmas, yet not everyone felt happy during the most festive time of the year. Many were elevated that the time had finally arrived after the battle, but it didn’t leave their hearts unscarred. All of them were damaged, some more than others, but they put it aside when they were with their families who had survived until now. Family was something every student of Hogwarts valued, and it was everything they fought for, and they would be damned if they let the bad events ruin their family time.  
Hogwarts was more than eager to indulge the students that stayed during the winter, letting them experience the Christmas feeling, the feeling of being wanted, and the feeling of being loved. To warm their hearts, even after all the pain they had endured. It was amazing how magic could decorate the trees in the Great Hall, how every feast looked utterly delicious, and even how beautiful the ceiling was, enchanted, and mesmerizing for the eye.

Draco saw all of it, the million of sparkles on the ceiling and the several chandeliers that hung down, nothing was out of place, colors like white, silver, red and gold were most notable, and it all synched perfectly in a festive harmony. However, it would take alot more to even make him feel wanted at this time, he chose to ignore any glares from the other students in the Great Hall, without question walking to the Slytherin table and seating himself, taking a mug full as he grabbed a slice of breaded and coated it with butter, adding an apple to his plate along with sliced, seasoned beef. His mercury grey eyes were not focused on anything in particular, merely in his own thoughts as he took several bites and sips from his meal, despite being hungry, his thoughts won the battle once again. A few hours left before my potion is finished. I won’t have to sleep for a while. I don’t want to. The Great Hall was filled with about twenty students, including Malfoy, whom were speaking about their families, often glancing at Malfoy as they spoke about him. At one moment, a girl stood up and walked towards the blonde, tapping his shoulder with a stern expression on her features, brown eyes and the orange colors of house Gryffindor visible. Draco was stunned a moment as he was oblivious, turning his head to gaze at the girl, narrowing his eyes.’’’Why are you even here? You killed my parents, and you betrayed all of us! You don’t have a place here! You’re vile, and mean, and a bad person!’’, she spurted out with an angry expression. Draco cleared his throat as he breathed out, instead of barking back, he stood up and passed her in a hurry, pulling his tie looser around his neck as guilt was overwhelming him once again. The girl merely glared at him as he walked away, having done her say.

Draco seemed in panic once again, the same time when Potter spoke to Kate about the fact Malfoy cursed her, the time that Potter chased him and nearly killed him. He was afraid, passing the inner hallways and walking on, having no place in mind he wanted to go to, he just wanted to get away from everyone. He didn’t want to be seen like a traitor, but he knew it would be a stain on his heart forever. The question would be if he can forgive himself, before others can even consider to forgive him. His pacing became quicker as he began to breath heavily, eyes snapping all about him in hope nobody followed him, he couldn’t take much more. Professor Slughorn already noted he didn’t trust Malfoy fully, and every other student in Hogwarts right now wouldn’t mind if Draco died. Why, why does this keep happening. Can’t nobody leave me alone! He inwardly was being torn apart, ripped into pieces and thrown aside. He rushed around the corner as he hit something, or someone, causing him to fall right onto his back, groaning as he rubbed the back of his head in pain. He couldn’t see clearly, his visual blurred as he felt a sting in his chest, clutching his chest as he groaned out in pain. ‘’Malfoy-..Merlin, are you okay?’’, Harry spoke as he moved to the man on the ground and sought to help him up, moving an arm under the blonde’s and moving him back onto his feet, however, Malfoy was still in pain.

Draco was lifted, but his knees were shaking, he was about to collapse again, but he was held up by Potter. He still didn’t figure out yet who was helping him, but he had a hunch. Harry waited untill Malfoy’s pain died down, keeping the man balanced, eventually his green eyes settling onto the grey ones that were disclosed. Draco’s eyebrows furrowed, but panic still was on his features, composing himself as he sneered and pushed Harry aside with a forceful push of his hand, snapping. He didn’t possess much strength, but Potter was the last person he wanted to see right now. ‘’Piss off, Potter!’’, he blurted, right after he pushed the ebony haired male, he fell down onto one knee, clutching his chest again. ‘’I’m getting Madame Pomfrey!’’.  
‘’No, you fucking Scarhead, dare it! Just leave me alone!’’, Draco was utterly fuming, he didn’t want help, he was still ignorant, he was still broken. Draco cried out as he stumbled up against the wall and hurried away, leaving Potter behind him whom was slowly getting pissed aswell. There was not one moment in their lives that Potter ever showed care, and Draco merely thought Potter was doing it because Madame Pomfrey ordered him to, he was probably right. Very right. He didn’t know where to go, he was a mess, but his feet managed to take him to the Prefect’s Bathroom, a horrible place, but he went there regardless, removing the jack from his suit as he loosened his shirt beneath it, eying himself in the mirror once again. What is happening to me. Pull yourself together, do it. Do it you, fucking failure. He hunched forth on the sink, head lowered as his eyes closed, hands gripping the sides of the sink, and luckily this time Potter wasn’t behind him.

Potter felt like nobody could ever help Malfoy, that the blonde always will be scarred, never being able to recover from what happened, but he yet had to understand why. It’s been many times that Harry was provoked by Malfoy and they ended up fighting, but most times, Malfoy backed away. He was pathetic and scared. But why would he provoke me when he would back out right after? To feel better? Potter shrugged as he was on his way to the Great Hall, but now was mandatory to return back to Madame Pomfrey as he was supposed to. He was annoyed Malfoy was yet again ruining his Christmas, walking to the Great Hall to get an apple for underway, passing through the doors as few girls eyed him in admiration. He walked to the Gryffindor table and fetched an apple, offering the rest an awkward smile. ‘’Did you see Malfoy, Harry? He was so upset, it was so funny!’’, one girl said, raking few fingers through her black hair. Harry narrowed his eyes as he tried to comprehend.  
‘’Sorry, what did you say?’’. The girl smiled brightly, seemingly proud of what she did.  
‘’I spoke to him’’, she went on, Harry’s expression turned into a glare, where as the girl began to cave under, less proud. ‘’I..I might have said some mean things to him..’’. Harry furrowed his eyebrows, yet he understood, but that didn’t make it right. He had called Malfoy many things, but he wanted to get back at him, for the bullying, but now, after the war, he felt like the insults should stop. Pathetic. Harry frowned a moment as he eyed the group who quickly went back to eating to avoid Harry’s vengeance. Harry called Malfoy pathetic twice now. 

Draco moved away from the sink and sank down to the ground, moving himself against the wall as he rubbed a hand against his forehead, light blonde strands tugged and pulled before he rested the limb. He was upset, really upset, he knew he had to redeem himself, but how could he if everyone thought about him like that? He knew what he did, he didn’t want to be reminded. Mother, if only you were here. Draco’s expression eventually shifted to a blank one, feeling numb after so many breakdowns in such a short time, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. A dishevelled look was on him, despite look perfect perpetually, he didn’t feel like it all. He forgot track of time, but he did remind himself his potion was almost finished, but in this state, he was reluctant to go anywhere, he was miserable. Greyback nearly killed him, and he didn’t even know if the werewolf was still out there. Many others wanted him dead, it all piled up. ‘’Oooooh! Draco! I knew, I knew you would come for me!’’, a voice rang, high pitched and all too happy.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven.

That voice, it was high pitched and highly annoying, and it felt like all glass in Hogwarts would shatter whenever it spoke. Though the voice helped him many times, it soothed him somehow, and even if the voice made many deaf and agitated, for Draco it was a remedy. He was never ashamed to talk to that voice, nor was he reluctant to, despite the difference between life and death, they connected well, and they understood each other like nobody else did. However this time, it may have been uncalled for, and most of all, he even forgot the voice was here. It made him reconsider to why he even ventured here, and it gave him initial regret that he forgot that simple fact. Regardless, it was one voice that made him feel better at the darkest of times, and the only one that he could speak to about his feelings, the feelings he always hid from everyone.

Draco’s eyes were almost closed, though flared open as the voice rang. Myrtle. He backed up against the stone wall and cleared his throat, swallowing a lump in it, looking about to locate the voice that was highly flirtatious towards him. It wasn’t very smooth, nor was it trying to hide its romantical liking towards Draco. It took him a long while as he kept looking for Moaning Myrtle’s voice, but she was nowhere to be seen, eventually Draco skulked in again and rubbed his forehead. ‘’Draco! Draco, what’s the matter, my sweet? Has someone hurt you again?’’, Draco moved his hand away, only to see Myrtle’s face almost shoved into his own, widening his eyes slightly, shaking his head. ‘’It’s Potter. You know how he always tries to be the hero, he doesn’t let me solve my own things’’, his tone was filled with disgust for Potter, sheer hatred for the individual and he couldn’t come to ever agree with Potter helping him, even if it saved his life, which he was without saying thankful for, but he’d never disclose this. Myrtle pouted her thin lips and frowned mildly, levitating just an inch above the ground as she curled a finger around a tail, raking through her ghastly black hair. ‘’Oh, don’t think about him! Think about me! Just ignore him and he will go away. You know how he responds to people talking to him, and showing their teary tears!’’, she went on, floating about before she moved back to Draco with a couple of twists from her body.

Perhaps she was right. ‘’So you’re saying if I don’t say anything to him, or show him anything else that bothers me, he’ll go away?’’, Draco narrowed his grey eyes, they lit up slightly from determination, eager to get away from Potter. ‘’Smart Draco! He’s a hero, so he’ll help anyone. Even you’’. Myrtle spoke again, leaning in towards Draco, batting her eyelashes, but Draco’s thoughts were elsewhere, in deep contemplation about Potter, he was hoping this method would work, but so far, he wasn’t sure. He and Potter had one thing in common, and that was sticking their noses in the business of others. It was abit funny, he admitted, but this wasn’t the time to think about that. ‘’Fucking Potter’’, he muttered, ‘’nobody understands me, except for you, Myrtle’’. Myrtle smiled overjoyed, tracing a hand across Draco’s cheek, to much surprise, he allowed it, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed it, it was more a moment of where he didn’t care. He stayed in the Prefect’s bathroom for a few hours, talking to Myrtle about a handful of things, including his father and Greyback, afterall, he knew Myrtle wouldn’t tell anyone else about this. He felt somewhat relieved, less broken. His tears were dried, and even though his heart was damaged, he felt alot better. ‘’Thanks, Myrtle, but I’ve to go. My potion is almost done’’. The blonde moved himself up from the cold floor and collected his jacket, the his pants having dried from the melted snow after the hours of being seated, adjusting himself in the mirror as he nodded, content, somewhat. ‘’But Draco! Hm! Fine! You know where you’ll find me, cutie!’’. Draco grinned as he shook his head, walking from the Prefect’s Bathroom towards Potions Class again, his blonde hair wettened as he washed his face, few strands slicked down his forehead.

For once, he went with clear thoughts, adamant on not letting anyone see his weakness, and lest let anyone notice he was bothered by their hurtsome words. It took him some time to get to Potions Class, knowing Slughorn wouldn’t be there, and it was almost night. Frankly, despite Slughorn not entirely trusting him, he had the liberty of entering the classroom without anyone watching over him like he was about to steal every ingredient in there. He smiled contently as he moved towards his cauldron, adding two sprigs of his Wolfsbane, and stirring it three times against the clock, he then completes it with a wave of his wand and nods, eying the color of the potion, satisfied with the results. He retrieved an average glass vial from the shelves and poured some of the contents within, closing it with a lid. The rest of the potion, he poured into a smaller vial, stashing it away to put in his trunk later, along with the bigger vial he consumed instantly. He let the brew run down his throat, leaning his head back as his eyes peeled wide open, breathing out sharply before he cleared his spot and stashed everything away neatly.

Draco’s stomach roared, but the blonde wanted to ignore it. His meal was interrupted before in the Great Hall by a certain someone, but he had a new mindset, change back to how he used to be when he was in first year, perhaps childish, but then he was less miserable, and less troubled than he was now. He gritted his teeth a moment as he moved the strap of his bag on his shoulder, leaving the classroom as he locked the door with his wand, venturing right back into the Great Hall, luckily, only he was there. All the people had left to return to their beds and likely were reading or conversing. His eyes closed a moment, taking a sharp inhale through his nose, looking over towards the Slytherin table, it was filled with memories. His ‘’friends’’, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini. One of them had died, and he wouldn’t ever forget it. It’s like he always dragged them into trouble, though perhaps it was the other way around, they dragged him into trouble? Maybe, maybe not. The blonde took a mug of eggnog and drained it, along with a bread bun, eating rather slowly, but in a way he could enjoy every bite he took. And for the first time in a long while, being alone felt good, he felt content, and he was enjoying himself. The bread was fresh and aromatic, the butter creamy and full of flavour, and the eggnog couldn’t be better. He sat there for atleast an hour, without glares directed at him, nor with any person whining. He however heard footsteps in the distance, though unsure of who it was. Was it the Headmistress? Maybe Pansy came to surprise him? Or was it another girl from Gryffindor to call him names? He couldn’t confirm, letting his gaze shift to the closed big doors of the Hall, but his interest wasn’t piqued long enough as he averted his gaze back to the table, tapping a finger on his plate. The doors opened, but he didn’t look, he was going to ignore whomever that entered, he needed to stop victimizing himself, and thinking that everyone was out for him. Despite this, he was in dismay, he was tensing up without wanting to, and he began to grow nervous. The footsteps became clearer, and they even were more clearer when they were headed straight for him. ‘’Malfoy, I need to talk to you’’, Potter said, bluntly, his glasses atop his nose, and his black hair still a mess as per usual, though the man’s green eyes were striking the most. Malfoy initially chose to ignore Potter, keeping his gaze to his half-devoured meal, intent on not giving in. ‘’Malfoy, I know what Lizz said to you. She won’t do it again, I made sure of that’’. Draco’s eyes narrowed a moment as if he was about to snap, yet he gathered his cool and nodded nonchalantly. ‘’I wasn’t bothered by it in the first place, scarhead’’, he stated bluntly, to where Potter became annoyed. ‘’You were upset, she saw it’’. Draco inhaled sharply as he shook his head, propping a piece of ham inside his mouth. ‘’No, I had to hurry back to finish my potion, and guess what, it’s -perfect-, unlike you, Potter’’. 

Harry’s eyes began to shift to the side, despite being one of the best in making Potions, Malfoy always exceeded him, he knew this. Potter’s left hand moved to his shoulderstrap and pulled it up, adjusting it over his shoulder so it wouldn’t slide off. He saw that Draco was back to his old self, the same old insults, and the same old ‘’nicknames’’ he threw like in the past. He sighed deeply, morely so as if he didn’t want to continue to even make effort for the blonde. ‘’You’re an adult, can’t you behave like one now? You went through alot, Malfoy. I won’t judge you for who you are now’’. Draco turned around, his eyes on those of Potter, narrowed and sneering in retort, provokingly bashing in close to the other. ‘’How do you know who I am, Potter? Nothing has ever struck you’’, he barked, yet he didn’t raise his voice, he had his old self about him, shoving Potter aside with a shoulderbash as he rushed out of the Great Hall, moving into the hallways, hands formed into fists at his sides, yet relaxed them, adjusting the tie around his neck to neaten it. He however felt Potter rushing behind him, eager to catch up and confront him, and it felt like Potter walked alot faster than himself, upto the the point that Draco turned around, Potter hardly managing to not walk into the blonde. ‘’Malfoy, we -’’, he was abruptly cut off as Draco’s hands gripped the collar of the black haired man’s sweater, pushing him against the wall with narrowed eyes, sneering.

‘’Leave me alone, Golden Boy, or I’ll tell the Headmistress you’re harassing me’’. Harry’s eyes widened, but he furrowed his brows after a moment, snapping back. ‘’You’re foul, Malfoy’’, looking Malfoy dead in the eye. Malfoy released his grip on Potter’s sweater and took a step back. ‘’Can’t be a holy bean like you, can we?’’, smiling as few blonde strands swooped down his forehead.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve.

 

It was past midnight, and it was dark, with only few candle lights to keep the dark halls of the castle lit up. Harry stared at the blonde with mild annoyance in his eyes, however the eyes of Draco were lit up with sparkles of determination, adamant on keeping his cool and his old behaviour that used to make him recognizable as one of the Malfoys. It was one the darker corridors, but the sills behind them led to the inner yard that was covered in thick snow, the trees were decorated with few bells and ribbons, but primarily snow coated them. The pure white managed to offer the two enough light despite it being dark, but it was cold, without saying, and most of the students fled to their beds to curl up under the sheets to take their early sleep to get rested for the next day of Christmas. The merry spirit sank into most hearts in Hogwarts, and even the most grumpy of Professors were jubilant instead of being morose, which was a nice change, but for the older students, it was rather weird, if not thinking the Professors had ulterior moves.

Harry seemed rather provoked at the blonde’s behaviour, pushing himself away from the wall and threateningly moving towards Malfoy, as to where the blonde jumped back, initially backing out from the fuming wizard, it was a move the Saviour could have predicted, as it was what the man usually resorted to. Words were all he could spout to someone, as where his actions always were prone to lead to being a coward and backing away. It took a sharp inhale for Malfoy to sneer again, scowling towards Potter as he adjusted his suit and neatened his tie, looking properly admirable. ‘’Malfoy, you’re seriously cruel and vile’’. The words hit hard like an avalanche, or make it Avada Kedavra rather, it bore into the damaged heart of Draco and it pained, feeling his composure falter under the intriguing stare of the Gryffindor. The grey eyes sharply set onto Potter, eyes filled with acid wanting to poison the black haired male. The urge was big to harm the Gryffindor, yet it’s something Draco would do, the thought of hurting someone was appaling to him, he never wanted to hurt anyone.

Potter stared back at Malfoy, cautious as the man was unpredictable once provoked. It was clear when he was almost attacked by Malfoy when he called the man ‘’pathetic’’, back when the blonde jumped down the tree that day. The same tree that was behind them, not too far away from the two. Luckily the Professor in disguise turned Malfoy into a ferret, it was hilarious and Potter could never erase the image he saw of Malfoy being bounced up and down for fun, it was mean, but he deserved it. It’s fair to say that Potter and Malfoy have done horrible things in their lives, but it’s also fair to say that they both did good things aswell, their actions counted at the right moment. Malfoy shook his head head firmly, almost panicking, though he put his mask up, keeping a stern expression which didn’t disclose his true pain. The man had the urge to walk away, to deter from the golden boy and be on his way again to the Slytherin common rooms. However, as he turned, Potter came closer, eyes narrowed, blazing. ‘’You’re going to the Hospital Wing, Malfoy. I don’t know what is wrong with you, but Madame Pomfrey will certainly find out’’. Draco snapped again, his glare evident as he turned to Potter, clenching his fists tightly. ‘’Forget it Pot--’’, Malfoy was interrupted as Harry spoke again, his voice raised, and agitation was more than notable. ‘’Shut up, Malfoy, you’re going, otherwise I’ll force you’’.

Malfoy objected as he moved his feet, walking on with a scowl plastered upon his face. However, Harry behind him was still fuming, the man’s green eyes were almost like fire, taking out his wand as he pointed it at the blonde’s back. ‘’I mean it, Malfoy, Hospital Wing, or else’’. It was more of a fact Harry was mandatory to make sure Malfoy’s health was guaranteed, rather than caring for the blonde, which he didn’t. Well, not much anyway, he was a student, and a human being regardless of who he was. Malfoy uttered a low ‘’fine’’, as he turned around and walked the other way, passing Harry without even offering him a glance, he knew he wouldn’t be able to restrain him if he looked at the man. Honestly, Potter knew how to push his buttons, and Draco knew how to push Harry’s buttons. It was a battle, to annoy each other, to prove who’s the stronger one, but Draco knew Potter, as being the one who killed he-who-shall-not-be-named, he was one of the most powerful wizards around.

Draco elevated his right hand and ran the hand through his hair, swallowing a lump in his throat as he wanted to just sleep, to sleep through Christmas and avoid all the socializing and most of all, to avoid Potter. He felt another sting in his chest as he fell down to the ground, palms flattened on the cold floor as his eyes widened, even he didn’t know what was going on with him. Potter in the distance could barely see Malfoy, but he saw enough to know Malfoy wasn’t doing well, rushing to the blonde to help him. Malfoy gasped for air as if he was suffocating, his vision ran blurred and he felt like he was about to feign. Heavy steps were heard, coming closer and closer, and he was crawling forth at this point, wanting to get away from Potter. ‘’Malfoy, stay still. I’ll get Madame Pomfrey!’’. Draco didn’t want to be helped again, he had been helped enough and he had been victimized enough in the past days, and he was doomed if he was going to let it happen again. He gathered the little remnants of energy he had left and stood up, rushing off. Conflict was in his mind, he was concerned about himself, but on the other side, he didn’t want to be helped. He coughed several times underway as he made his way back to his bed, it took him some time, but he made it, despite the stinging pain in his chest. He placed the jacket from his suit aside and loosened his shirt, removing all his clothing except his boxers as he slithered himself under the sheets, looking out the window thoughtfully for a moment before he submitted to his lassitude and went to sleep.

The next morning, Draco woke up with a heavy headache, rubbing his forehead as he grunted lowly, sweeping his feet aside as he stood up, moving to his trunk and taking out a green apple, taking a bite from it. It was early in the morning, somewhat despite being drained, he didn’t sleep ‘till the afternoon. Everytime he woke up, many thoughts began to surface in his mind, which wasn’t healthy for him. His skin was pale, but had a grey tinge to it, and not to forget, he was stressing himself, unneededly, and hardly ate or drank anything. It was a moment that his thoughts tried to overwhelm him, but he pushed them away, eying the apple with contemplation. He retrieved a book from his trunk aswell and moved back into his bed, opening it midway and reading through it while devouring his apple.

Potter slept through the night, but not with a light mind, he was annoyed, everytime Malfoy was walking on his feet and being the cruel cockroach he used to be. Refusing help was one of his traits, which could lead to serious injuries, he was too headstrong. Harry sighed as he woke up, rubbing his eyes before taking his glasses from the night desk and placing them on, looking around as he quickly moved into his warm sweater, tugging it right around the neck, and combing his hair that was long and messy, despite the effort, he looked like he just got up regardless. He didn’t know what to do, he was mandatory to return to Madame Pomfrey to tell her what had occured, with happened to Malfoy, and maybe if she was able to treat him. And so he did, he didn’t hesitate any longer, skipping breakfast and heading straight to Madame Pomfrey. She was already walking about and doing her tasks, removing the bedsheets to replace them with new clean ones. Harry walked in and looked over the beds, then eyed the woman with a hopeful smile on his lips. ‘’Mr.Potter, how can I help you?’’, she said, rather strictly. ‘’Malfoy, he’s having pain constantly’’. She arched an eyebrow, curiously, wanting Harry to elaborate. ‘’Well, he’s having some sort of pain in his chest, I think. I’m not sure. And he refuses to come here’’. She nodded somewhat and looked away a moment, seemingly concerned. ‘’You know what’s wrong with him, Madame Pomfrey?’’, the woman looked towards Harry and nodded. ‘’Sadly, I do. This isn’t good, Mr.Potter’’.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen.

It was horribly silent throughout the morning, and the sun began to shine through the dark clouds that hung in the sky, the glistering sun falling upon the thick layers of snow that surfaced the stones of the Hogwarts castle, making some of the snow melt. The Forbidden Forest was still silent in the morning, the dozen of creatures that roamed within were mostly of a peaceful nature, seemingly it’s not only the students of Hogwarts that celebrated the festivity and the time of enjoying the feeling that they don’t have to fear for their lives. Summarized, it was the time to settle down and enjoy what life offered, this also meaning that one should mature and most of all should leave behind past grudges that now still stained the heart. A clear mind would offer a clear start at the beginning of a new year, a new chapter of one’s life, which without saying hinted to closing the last book and not reading a new one, but writing a new one. It only took a little bit of effort to keep the will going, to be determined and set upon thinking that change is good.

Harry whom was more than convinced that someone was in grave danger, and that certain someone was also too stubborn to give in and succumb to getting his injury treated, which caused him this horrible pain. Harry was not entirely sure what it could be, but there few things he thought of without Madame Pomfrey saying them. Poisoned. Or it could have been something else. A bruised or broken bone? Internal bleeding? But how could Madame Pomfrey have missed such? That’s highly impossible. I bet he was poisoned. He nodded to himself in his own thoughts, looking as determined as ever when he found the cause of a problem. Madame Pomfrey however looked at Harry with narrowed eyes, inquiringly before she turned around, walking back to her office. Harry still not having gotten an answer followed her without consent, curiously as to whether he was right or wrong. ‘’Madame Pomfrey, is it possible he was poisoned somehow?’’. The woman tucked some grey strands behind her ear, rummaging through her books, potions and shelves. ‘’Yes, though I need to see him for myself to confirm this. If it was through consumption or through inhaling the poison’’, she said strictly, though she was worried, but she wouldn’t really show it, but her rushed concern said enough on the matter.

Harry scratched the back of his head, he was abit worried. Someone poisoned Malfoy. Maybe it was random, maybe it was targeted. He adjusted the glasses on his nose, rubbing his eyes underneath for a brief moment. It was safe to say he had the task of getting Malfoy to the Hospital Wing, again. And yet again, against his will, but this will be hard, too hard as Malfoy would likely attack him again. And Harry really didn’t want to bother the Headmistress or Madame Pomfrey with their aid, as both deserved their time to enjoy Christmas aswell, it’s a good guess that Madame Pomfrey was already gathering an antidote for the poison, anyway. ‘’Well then, Madame Pomfrey, I’ll try to get Malfoy here’’, he said promptly, with a hint of reluctance in his tone, the woman merely nodding and continuing to rummage through her belongings. And on that note, Harry turned around, adjusting his bag and walking out of the Hospital Wing, he seemed abit clueless on how to get someone like Malfoy back to get his injuries treated, he was more stubborn than a dragon. ‘’I guess I’ll try to talk to him first, otherwise he’ll suspect me if I put others upto bringing him here’’, Harry muttered lowly to himself.  
He sighed deeply, not feeling all too well either, as the last couple days were all but stress-free, everyday Malfoy caused him trouble, and Harry wanted to avoid just that, trouble. The saviour shrugged his shoulders and made his way to the Slytherin Common Rooms, talking to the portrait and entering, considering the password hadn’t changed, and despite the mandatory need to say the password, it was more or less a free pass for the saviour who assured that the castle didn’t fall into ruins.

Harry took a sharp inhale as he began to tense up, he didn’t know what to expect when he entered, and the green colors of the Slytherin house were all over the place. It was laughable, he didn’t like snakes, nor did he have a good history with the creatures, it made him uneasy, but he moved in regardless. It’s just Malfoy. He nodded to himself, reassuringly himself, though his heart beated in a gallope, at any moment, he could be hit by a spell. The ebony haired male tried to be subtle in his movement, unlike the previous time when he knocked over the vase. As he proceeded, he could see Malfoy from the corner of his eye, the platinum blonde hair was a feature only few possessed, shifting his gaze to the man. He was cautious, but prepared, his wand was now within his right hand, and with that, he walked closer to the blonde, no matter the consequences. ‘’Malfoy, don’t attack me. We worry, and -’’ he was cut off as a book flew past his head, being able to just have avoided the impact, breathing out sharply. ‘’Bloody hell!’’. Harry ducked to the ground as another book flew above his head, cursing like mad as he glared at the blonde whom’s eyes were ablaze now, determined and agitated, but aside of these features, he look terribly ill, his skin had a greyish tinge and his eyes looked sick, even though it was how he usually looked like the past year, it now looked very unhealthy, it wasn’t even normal anymore.

It took some time for Harry to clear his thoughts, having avoided two books that were aimed for him with luck and reflexes, which he normally never would have avoided so quickly. He eventually got upto his feet again as he hid behind a small table, looking at Malfoy by leaning forth enough, yet safe enough, to visualize him. ‘’Okay, stop doing this! Madame Pomfrey thinks you’re poisoned, Malfoy!’’. The blonde didn’t seem to respond, but he did acknowledge the words, he was seated on his bed, feet touching the ground, his posture hunched and his eyes fixed on the ground instead of Harry. It was a chance for Harry to come closer, to explain how grave the situation was, and to emphasis the danger Malfoy was in if he continued to go on untreated. ‘’We’re ruling out Greyback, but we don’t know who it was. If it’s only aimed for you, or more people’’. he explained, his hands moving along the motion, having put away his wand to make himself look harmless for Malfoy, less provocative. He calmed himself rather quickly, it wasn’t too hard for him knowing that he’s been through many situations that were alot worse than this. Don’t forget the two-headed dog from Hagrid. Merlin, that thing was big. His green striking eyes were clear behind his glasses, but they were friendly now, unlike the other times where they also returned the same dislike towards the blonde.  
He needed to get Malfoy back to Madame Pomfrey, and it was imperative he achieved that today. One way or another, Malfoy’s health was getting worse, and his life was at stake. It felt like Harry was doing alot of effort to saving Malfoy, like he would with Hermione or Ron, or even others he didn’t like as much as his best friends. It felt weird, and each time he showed concern towards the blonde, it made his heart stop for a beat, it was going against his principles, and it didn’t exactly make him think he was doing the right thing. Why was he thinking that Malfoy deserved less than him? Why? Because he helped he-who-shall-not-be-named? Maybe. Deep down Harry knew better than to think this, the Dursleys made that clear to him, no matter how foul you are, or how stupid you are, you’re equal, if you’re half-blood, mudblood, or pureblood, you treat someone as how you wish to be treated. It’s true. His throat felt constricted as Harry loosened the sweater around his neck, feeling heath in his body, it was dismay. Convincing Malfoy was a feat he would remember for the rest of his life, for the better or the worse. ‘’Malfoy?’’. 

He did not get a response, instead, a loud thus was heard as a body hit the ground. ‘’Malfoy!’’, he yelled, worriedly.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen.

''I don’t need protection.'' 

We all need protection sometimes, no matter how strong you are. Even the Dark Lord needed lackeys to be able to spread his reign, to get what he wanted, to protect himself from direct attacks. Usually followers were always the ones to take the toll, to suffer because of their decisions, or their lack of being unable to even make a decision, since few are forced. They fear for their lives, they fear the consequences, and nobody can exactly blame them. All humanoid beings prefer to live, and all would resort to the most sickening methods in aim to stay alive. Draco was one of these followers. The man had no idea to how deep he would be able to sink in order to be with his family, to prove to them he was a good son to them, and that he was not a failure nor disappointment. He knew his mother loved him alot, as his father, but convincing his father was not easy, infact, it’s all his life was based on about, to make his father proud, and in the end, it all seemed so pointless regardless of his effort. The Dark Lord was a formidable opponent, and the reign he spread was intimidating, he was going to destroy everything.

Shifting his gaze from the book back to the window, Draco retracted his right knee and rested the book against the limb. He couldn’t focus on reading, the book was about the arts against dark magic, but it didn’t pique his interest long enough. A low sigh escaped his lips as he ran a finger along the rim of the book, tracing the cover for a brief moment as he closed it eventually. Pointless. He felt uneasy in place, he still had a painful sting in his chest, and still he had no idea what it was, or where it originated from. Nobody in Hogwarts disclosed anything about Greyback’s location, leave alone if they were even aware of his presence in the Woods. The blonde remained concerned, and not one person tried to reassure him. The attempt on taking his life was clouding his eyes, and Greyback couldn’t be erased from his thoughts. The werewolf is possibly still out there, waiting for him, looking for him, and nobody seemed to care. The apple within his left hand was almost devoured, staring at the fruit with dulled eyes, it was vibrant green, and it was crunchy and juicy, like most of his apples were. However, he was glad to be alone, it soothed him that nobody was near him, he rather be alone, than be with someone that may want him dead. It’s as if the only place he was guaranteed to live, to even see people coming in, was the Slytherin common rooms. 

The mercury grey eyes lingered towards the window again, closing slightly as the snow remain to fell from the sky down to the ground. The wind became significantly stronger, and it was dangerous to go outside now, the gushes would blow you right off your feet, and broom. Quidditch. Now that was certainly a sport Draco never wanted to do again. Ever since the Room of Requirement was put to flames by the Fiendfyre, and he was saved by Potter, he swore to himself that very moment he would never fly again. He loved the sport, but simultaneously detested it, because of Potter, and because one of his closest friends died that day. It was his fault, his own fault for provoking and not having stopped his friends that day, his friend would still have been alive if he just spoke up. But instead, he didn’t, he remained quiet, he let the Fiendfyre be released. And if not for Potter, he would’ve been roasted alive. Stop thinking about this, Draco, you fool. He inhaled sharply through his nose as his eyes moved around the room thoughtfully, looking towards the entrance which was obstructed by a wall and several cupboards. It won’t be long now. He lowered his head and leaned back, closing his eyes, pressuring a flat hand against his chest where the sting of pain still prolonged, eventhough now it was not as painful as before.

The portrait opened and someone walked in, Draco heard it happening, but he didn’t expect someone else, other than a Slytherin to enter at this time. Against all his expectations, he snapped his head and his gaze towards the entrance, visualizing the man that walked in. He initially became aggressive and agitated, sneering and scowling in utter defense, all hatred inside of him began to gather again, to be released again. ‘’Malfoy, don’t attack me. We worry, and-’’, Draco didn’t let the black haired male finish, he was ireful and and instantly grabbed the book from his lap and hurled it towards Potter. He remained silent, his eyes narrowed in anger and shaking his head, moving himself to seat at the edge of the bed, feet touching the ground as he leaned a hand on the edge of the bed for support. His strength was hardly there, and the poison inside his veins was draining him, consuming all his energy. He grabbed another book that he had stashed underneath his pillow, eying Potter, infuriated. ‘’Bloody hell’’, Potter yelled, however Draco didn’t falter and hurled the second book towards Potter. He groaned as the sting in his chest began to become really excruciatingly painful, making him lean back and fall towards the side of the bed, barely leaning on it. He saw that Potter was hiding, behind a smaller table just ahead of him, he saw the mess of black through his blurred vision. ‘’Okay, stop doing this! Madame Pomfrey thinks you’re poisoned, Malfoy!’’. Draco swallowed harshly, he felt like he was suffocating, he couldn’t breathe properly, and the attempts of drawing in air were useless. He eventually hunched forth, leaning, as he lowered his head, gazing towards the ground with a hand on his chest, whilst the other had disposed of the apple, making sure he remained seated.

‘’We’re ruling out Greyback, but we don’t know who it was. If it’s only aimed for you or more people’’, Potter spoke, the words were repeating themselves in Draco’s head, over and over again. Poisoned. His blank stare was blackening and he didn’t offer Potter a glance, he didn’t have the energy for it, he was struggling with keeping himself from falling to the ground. I’m wanted dead. He thought it was irony getting to him, that his father actually somehow went from the beyond to making sure Draco would die, because he was a failure to Lucius. Probably so, it was fate twisting, thinking Draco had lived long enough and it was time to take him to the other side. Draco’s eyes were dull, but widened, slowly, his lips parting as they closed again, he wanted to speak, but refrained, he needed to save his energy, somehow. It was a first for him not to bark back at Potter, the person he detested the most in his life. Potter stood there, looking all so worried and caring, it was fake, it was an act of him, and Draco would be a fool to fall for it. He rather dies than ever admitting he needed help, and least of all, need help from Potter. He didn’t even consider the fact he was almost naked, except for his boxers, it wasn’t a concern of his, however Potter’s eyes seemed quite fixated on his body, scanning the pale white skin which seemed immaculate, it felt uneasy to be stared at. Maybe he was looking for something that could tell what kind of poison it was? It showed physical symptoms, naturally. Draco mustered a mild sneer as he shook his head, it was too much for him. The overthinking consumed the last remnants of his energy and punched him right off the bed, his body fell limp to the ground and his eyes closed, he looked like a corpse, but he was still breathing, his heart still beating, but not for long. ‘’Malfoy!’’, it was the last thing Draco heard before he turned unconscious, the pain inside his chest remained.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen.

Does life really have that much value to you? To anybody else? Is it righteous to think that you have to die in order to make amends for your past atrocities? Perhaps. But maybe consider that there are infact people that love you, or even think of you at times when they don’t even want to. The sort of attachment that happens, that establishes over years and years. It feels unlikely that you could be cared for, not being a horrible person, though if you regret what you have done, it will mark you forever, and you will be having that stain on your mind and heart forever, but it is only upto you to change it. Hope is the simple belief that something can change. And with hope, you can persuade yourself that you can change. 

Draco felt devastated and despondent, leaning against the wall as his arms were folded and his eyes lingered around with a little lack of determination. It came to this day, whether he would live to see another day, or be sent to Azkaban to serve his time. Eitherway, the only one that could erase his past crimes was a certain man that defeated the person that the blonde helped. Not only he was judged, but also his mother and father, though despite Narcissa not having contributed as much as Draco and Lucius, she was just as guilty, but who can blame a mother that was desperate? She wanted to keep her family as much as their lives. Draco knew this. It’s why he also took such measures to secure their safety after the Dark Lord threatened to punish them if one should fail.

And so it begun. Draco’s eyes were dried and he was struggling to breathe properly, nerves grew as he tensed up, even sweating as frustration and uncertainty overcame him. He was called in along with his mother and father to be judged and trialled for their crimes. He swallowed a lump in his throat and compelled his feet to move, he had hope, little hope that atleast his mother wouldn’t have to suffer in Azkaban like he and his father, but tables turned entirely. The trial was long and strenuous, least of all, it was draining. Harry Potter was present aswell, not a surprise as he witnessed all of what they had done. It eventually ended and two left without issue, that being Narcissa, whom’s eyes were teared and her expression devastated, holding onto a man whom’s grey eyes were dulled and dried, as if no more tears could be shed. ‘’Listen to me, Draco. Your father will be okay, don’t worry about him. He won’t be there for long’’. The woman cleared her throat harshly, reassuring herself as the verdict was made, but Draco had other things on his mind. He did feel horrible his father was going to Azkaban to serve his time, but the most peculiar thing that bothered him was that Potter vouched for him and his mother. The black haired man explained how it was an act of desperation and that they were forced into helping the Dark Lord, otherwise they would be killed. However, this didn’t help Lucius, he did worse things.

Grey eyes lingered on green ones in the distance, trying to comprehend what Potter was doing, trying to understand as why he even bothered to save them. Draco couldn’t wrap his head around it all, he thought he was going to get locked up, and honestly, wouldn’t it be what he deserves? Potter. Speaking and speaking about how they didn’t do it on their own volition, it was confusing to hear Potter speak like that, but it worked. A sharp inhale was taken as it was eventually over, his mother was safe, and so was he, but his father, the look on Draco’s face as he was sentenced, it was pale, despondent and one of fear. He tried so hard to protect him, to make him proud and this is the result. He failed. A failure.

Draco felt a squeeze in his shoulders as his mother looked at him with a hopeful, yet meek smile on her lips, it was clear she was trying to keep back her river of tears. The blonde man merely nodded, eyes locked on his mother’s before shifting downwards, squeezing his fists together. He can’t do anything. But can he do anything right at all? They stood in a more remote hallway, giving them more privacy as Narcissa held onto her son and embraced him, running her slender fingers through his blonde hair.

‘’Malfoy’’, rang behind him. That voice, he only recently heard it, and despite his gratitude, he didn’t want to see nor hear the man again. Narcissa immediately turned her gaze to Harry Potter and looked back at Draco, releasing him and nodding. ‘’Thank you’’, she said, with effort to Harry whom nodded in return aswell, turning his gaze to Draco. Narcissa took her leave as she probably spoke to Draco about where to go with her after the trial, ofcourse if they were spoken free. The shorter male stuffed his hands into the pockets of his brown pants, his hair shorter than normally, and well combed, probably to appear more formal for the rather unpleasant occasion, though, Potter didn’t look too happy either. Draco took a while to compose himself and turned towards the other, staring with grey eyes inquiringly, he wanted to know what the man wanted, and he’ll be damned to thank him. The blonde grit his teeth as he assumed the same stance as Potter, hands casually shoved into the pockets of his black pants, leaning back against the wall to appear less pathetic. ‘’I wanted to give you something, Malfoy’’. As if Potter could give Malfoy anything that could even lessen the pain he was going through right now, alleviate it, no. Never. Draco’s head lowered, however his eyes fixated on Potter’s green ones that rested behind his glasses, waiting.

‘’I know it’s not much, but it’s yours, even if it changed owners, you should keep it’’. Draco’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, however they widened slightly as Potter withdrew a black wand from his own suit and extended it to Draco with a determined expression. That wand. It was Draco’s. It was the one that understood him. Draco stared at it for a prolonged while, leaning away from the wall with a dozen of thoughts conflicting him, telling him not to take anything from the saviour, but at the same time, it was his wand, he had it for a long while. His pale white fingers took the wand and stuffed it within his black suit, looking back at Potter, though not revealing anything on his features, not even a grateful expression was disclosed. ‘’You’re also welcome back at Hogwarts, if you want to come, that is’’. Potter attempted to smile, but it was feeble. He didn’t like Malfoy, but he knew the value of family, and how desperate one could be to save them, he felt bad for Malfoy. Draco let out a shaky sigh and walked off, it being the last day he ever saw Potter again, atleast, he hoped.

Draco’s body was cold and pale, he looked like a corpse, his heartbeat was gradually dropping and it merely managed to beat at all. His body was fighting the poison within his veins and he was bracing for death. His grey eyes opened as he saw he was in the Hospital Wing again, he hated this place. So many times he’s been here. With Quidditch, he fell so hard off his broom and scraped the ground for a few long metres, probably having bruised alot, whilst Potter made a swift and clear landing, yet Madame Pomfrey told him to stop whining. He was always in a bad position, even then. Not to mention when he broke his arm by Buckbeak. Ofcourse he provoked the hippogryph, but his arm was broken, but again, would it be any different if he broke all his bones in his body at that time? He felt cold, he was shivering in place as he tried to curl up, but his limbs wouldn’t let him. Was he dead, or was this merely a nightmare he had? Maybe.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen.

 

One thing Draco now was sure of, he was not dead, for the dead cannot dream nor relive memories. His memories were something he detested greatly, especially the bad ones. But despite that, they validated he was not trapped in a nightmare, nor in the beyond which some muggles call hell. If anything, he doubt he will even end up in heaven, to his knowledge, he is not deserving of even such a place, a muggle place. Morely peculiar, if not concerning was, that if he died, the last memory he had was that Potter was in it. But maybe it was important to him somehow, the last time he had seen his father, it was special to him, but also, one of the moments that broke him down. So, perhaps it didn’t matter Potter was in it. Right? It’s just a memory. But why pick this one, was it random, or chosen by him? He had better memories in his head, and why would he pick this one, the one with him in it? It didn’t make sense to Draco, but hardly anything ever did make sense to him as of late.

Lightheaded, he felt like that, perhaps due to the lack of energy. He managed to gather some remnants of his strength and pushed himself up slightly with his hands, looking around with his eyes, surprisingly, his vision was not blurred, it was crystal clear just like his grey eyes that were more like himself. He considered he may have drained an oculus potion by Madame Pomfrey or perhaps another healing potion. He knew he didn’t recover yet fully, and his system was fighting against the last bits of poison in his veins, but with a little more rest and food, he would be back to old in no time. Slender white fingers traced along the sheets of his bed, noting he was wearing a white, long sleeved shirt and a pair of black pants, presumably out of his own wardrobe, lucky him. He sighed rather deeply, not seeing anyone in the Hospital Wing, and he had so many questions left. The most important one: who poisoned him? Frigid pale skin, trying to gain warmth with the bedsheets enveloping his frame, letting himself drop back flat on the bed, saving his energy. His eyes closed once more as he shifted back into sleep, for once, his dreams were serene and without pain. But maybe it was something he was hoping for to happen. He was out of Hogwarts, around his twenties, living with a girl, presumably with children in addition, possibly fulfilling one of the demands Lucius had for him: expanding the pureblood lineage. But was he really happy, dreaming about something like that?

A few hours passed as he woke up again, rubbing his forehead with his right hand, pushing few blonde strands out of the way. The sleep benefitted him greatly, he felt renewed. ‘’Mister Malfoy, I am glad to see you are awake. I have made you consume several potions in the few moments you woke up. You were poisoned, if you recall’’. Draco’s eyes lingered towards the elderly woman, groaning lowly as he pushed himself up, nodding somewhat as he did recall he was infact poisoned. It was early in the afternoon, he must have slept alot longer than he thought. ‘’You ate something which was poisoned. Such a matter as this was taken to the Headmistress and she decided you should remain here, or Mister Potter will have to be with you in order to secure your safety’’. Draco’s face drained from color for a moment as his lips parted to instantly object to the woman, though as soon she saw him form a detesting sneer, she interrupted him. ‘’And don’t even consider to say no. This is not a request, Mister Malfoy. We suspect a student has poisoned your meal’’. Draco lowered his head along with his gaze, fingers gripping the sheets tightly as he began to tense up. Someone in Hogwarts poisoned me? But that means..- a double agent? He was running wild with the many possibilities that were there.

 

‘’Is it possible a former Death Eater poisoned me?’’. He seemed highly sure, now the more he said it, the more sure he became of it. The woman narrowed her eyes, though eventually conceded and nodded towards the blonde, tucking some greyish strands behind her ear. ‘’We will need you to be careful, Mister Malfoy, if this is a student, he or she could be waiting for you’’. A grunt was heard as Draco shifted in place in sheer dismay, he didn’t want to linger here, but so far, he has been careful, atleast he didn’t seem to care much, nor was he surprised by the fact someone did try to kill him. Indignantly he sneered for a brief second and shook his head. He heaved himself up and leaned forwards on the edge of the bed, breathing in sharply as his heartbeat felt slower than usual. ‘’It’s not all gone, is it?’’. He sighed lowly to himself as his hands held onto the bed, making sure he wouldn’t tip over, nor collide on the ground. ‘’No. It will take some time for your system to drive the last of it out. I’ve divided some healing potions into vials you have to consume thrice a day’’. She gestured towards a small bag that was set on Malfoy’s desk near the bed. ‘’Take it with you. It’s important you take it’. Her eyebrows raised, looking at the man who was more than reluctant to consume such, though he said nothing, whining wouldn’t help him. Draco gathered his belongings and put his socks on along with his shoes, adjusting his shirt and jacket, along with his tie.

‘’Remember Mister Malfoy, don’t get yourself into unneeded danger. It’s already dangerous enough’’. Draco ignored the woman blatantly, she certainly didn’t like him, nor did Draco like her. That was proven over the years. He stood up and walked out of the hospital wing and looked around with conflicted feelings. The smaller bag secured around his shoulder with the amount of vials within, which he took one out from and held it before his eye, the liquid a bright crystal clear green which seemed relevant to the Slytherin house colors. ‘’Malfoy, there you are’’. Draco flinched slightly as the vial fell out of his grip and shattered on the floor, clearing his throat and looking towards the voice, eyebrows furrowing mildly. ‘’Potter. What do you want?’’. He was agitated already, looking down at the liquid that oozed over the ground, stepping aside not to get his expensive shoes ruined. ‘’Don’t thank me, no need for that’’, Potter barked back, his facial expression the same as his voice, annoyed. Seems the saviour was getting tired of saving people. ‘’I didn’t ask for your help, scarhead. So perhaps stop helping me all the time when I don’t want your help’’. The blonde lifted the straps around his shoulder and sought to walk on, ignoring Potter, which was what he planned after he spoke to Myrtle, don’t say anything to him. He however was not moving, instead, someone else moved him, harshly against the wall as the green eyes of Potter narrowed and stared into his own, both of Potter’s hands gripping his jacket, fuming. ‘’You’re ungrateful, Malfoy. All the time, and I’m getting sick of your moany behaviour’’. Malfoy returned a sharp stare, inhaling through his nose as he didn’t possess the strength to do anything back, considering he just recovered from a near death experience. ‘’Get your hands off me, scarhead’’. Malfoy’s mercury grey eyes were fixed on the other’s, narrowed and demanding. He wasn’t scared, not right now, not in a situation like this where someone else almost succeeded in murdering him. Bloody Potter.


	17. Chapter 17

Many thoughts shifted through Draco’s mind, many of them were memories that reflected back upon the past, the long road he walked and then ended up as he is now. Often his friends passed his thoughts, but now his family surfaced the most. After all his effort to keep his family together, it was all in vain. The father he wanted to please, to do proud, to prove that Draco could be perfect to him, but in the end, he was the exact opposite: filled with flaws. And not solely that, he lost the man he wanted to protect. He concluded he was a failure, the words that would be spoken by Lucius with sheer distaste. ‘’You are a failure, Draco’’. He felt horrible, it was as if something was consuming him whole. The guilt that stained his very heart and mind could not be removed, it was permanent and he had to live with it. He admitted he missed his mother, she was still alive, but their relationship felt less close than before. Narcissa travelled and only now and then sent Draco a letter of how she was doing, making sure her affection for her son was prominent everytime she did send a letter. She herself told Draco that it would be better if they were seperated and it be alot harder for those trying to kill her and Draco to find them, thus if they would remain together it’d be dangerous. And Potter, let’s not forget about him. That unbearable brat. Conflicted, Draco went through the many times he had derided Potter and his friends, the many occasions he took his chance to insult the boy-who-lived and basked in every moment to make himself feel better. The truth was more pathetic, even if he didn’t want to admit, he did it because he envied the saint. The simple fact Potter was more famous than him, a pureblood, it was ridiculous, but yet it all happened. Jealousy, how obvious, and yet so painful.

It was a rather strenuous moment as the two were engaged, the tension gradually building up between the two men as those striking emerald eyes of the golden boy were fixed on the mercury grey eyes of Draco. It brought a certain dismay to the blonde that was struggling to keep his breathing regularly, even more so trying not to get his bag of healing vials crushed in the progress. Potter, he had a certain anger in his eyes, though there was a glimpse of uncertainty, as if he there was much more to the man. Even if Draco had rested, he still lacked alot of energy and was not capable to defend himself. His knees were shaking and his body began to tremble, which was due to lassitude, not due to the fact Potter was pinning him against the wall, but perhaps the saviour thought otherwise. The blonde’s head corked back against the wall as he sneered, indignantly, he didn’t need this, infact, the last thing he needed was to see this bloody idiot that kept trying to save his life when he never wanted his help. Why in the world would he even try to save me? Draco felt clueless, as per usual whenever Potter saved his hide. The blonde avoided to make any strenuous moves, even if staying on his feet was a consuming task itself already. He felt the hard cold wall against his back, being pressed harder onto it by a pair of forceful hands that held onto his black jacket he was wearing, only a shallow inhale followed as his grey eyes lifted towards the ceiling, clutching his bag.

The black haired man before him was fuming, however there was something odd, whenever the one and only saviour got angered, he didn’t seem too convincing, and he certainly didn’t give off the sign he was dangerous. It however felt uneasy, Draco could hardly breathe from the pressure as the golden boy moved his left hand, his forearm horizontally placing above Malfoy’s clavicle and threateningly inches away from the trachea. The blonde furrowed his brows at this move, breathing in sharply as he felt himself weaken, his visual blackening, making his knees tremble. It only took a moment for the golden boy to see how far his anger had consumed him and he lowered his left arm, only keeping his right hand onto the blonde’s jacket. Draco’s skin was cold, and the blonde was still as pale as before, it was no surprise after all he had been through. Potter on the side looked rather healthy, he gained a light tan and his unruly messy hair seemed to be in a good condition, clear of any hair products. ‘’Malfoy’’, Potter said, lowering his gaze a moment, the ebony haired man gritting his teeth. ‘’..I..- nevermind it’’, Potter said again, withdrawing himself and turning around, looking at Draco a few seconds, as to where Draco saw the anger had faded and guilt instead was replaced in Potter’s eyes. The ebony haired man quickly walking off as he shook his head and disappeared from sight. Few strands of blonde lingered against Draco’s forehead as he breathed out and regained his regular pace, sinking to the ground and taking a vial out of the bag, removing the lid and draining the healing potion. What went unnoticed by both men was the fact both were so filled adrenaline in that heathed moment, the tension, that Draco only noticed now there were few glass shards in his right hand, bleeding severely. Pale slender long fingers were soaked in a crimson collar, making it look fresh in contrast to the pale white that was beneath it.

Merlin. Draco cleared his throat after he consumed the potion and rested his head against the wall behind him, a vague smile began to trace upon his lips, wondering how it came to this, he felt empty again. He didn’t understand what was going on, he stopped bothering Potter, he did things that helped Hogwarts, he didn’t mock the golden boy and he never asked for his help, so why does he act like this? It was stupid. But it wasn’t something Draco wanted to think about for long, he thought too much of that man for almost his entire life now and it never did him any good. The blonde slowly lifted himself from the ground, leaning against the wall with his left shoulder as he felt the strength within himself fade, his hand still bleeding. His last resort was going to Madame Pomfrey again, she would likely scold him, and he was in no mood for such, his mind was clouded enough, so instead, he went back to the Slytherin common rooms and wrapped his injured hand with some pieces of cloth to cease the bleeding, having removed the small glass shards with a pincet. The healing potions didn’t close the cuts in his hand, they merely were there for internal regeneration, to give him back energy from the poisoning he fell victim to. The poisoning. The blonde seemed to have forgotten that he was poisoned, just for a moment as it now surfaced again and he threw himself onto his bed, watching out the window again as snow fell down from the sky. ‘’It all just seems so awful in the end’’, he muttered, laughing a moment at how miserable has life has been, and it was only getting worse. Truly, do you have to go through the storm before the sun shines again? For Draco, the storm never ended.

It was cold and he shuddered in his bed, with everyone gone, he took advantage of the fact there was a sill that was broad enough to place a mattress at and a pillow, so he could look outside. Often it was like this, sleepless nights, where he would look out the window for hours and just stare at the snow that fell down, or the rain that poured down from the sky to hit down on the snow. The few birds that flew by now and then, he watched them with a thought that reminded him of Quidditch, yet again. That sport, he wanted to forget it, but he was good at it, he mounted that broom everytime with grace, his first try, no matter if he was wealthy, skill can’t be bought. He flew through the air and each match of Quidditch, he caught the snitch with wit and agility. He quit it. Why? He couldn’t bother. That year it was too much for him, and aside of that, he couldn’t concentrate on even winning, or even caring to win anymore. Ridiculous. He sighed deeply as he withdrew his wand and eyed it a long while, brushing several fingers across the black surface. ‘’And you’re not even mine’’, staring at his wand still, his expression blank, with a little hint of desperation. His eyes slowly closed and he fell into a deep slumber he desperately needed.


End file.
